5 headlines from the last week that major broadcasters don’t want you to know

The news below is for recreational purpose only. Read it at your risk (I guess).

North Korea willing to hold peace talks with the South, vows to give up nukes

Kim Jong Un held the very first open, transparent press conference in Pyongyang on Thursday morning expressing his intent to unify North and South Korea and end ‘decades of falsehood and lies’. In a historical meet, he said, “Being the leader of North Korea, I am not willing to commit the atrocities what my ancestors have”. He added, “I shall not walk on the path of my father, my grandfather and would from now on refrain from committing the mistakes my predecessors have made.” He has also hinted at the idea of giving up his illegal nuclear arsenal and unify North and South Korea into one. We are awaiting a response from Washington.

Ivanka Trump to adopt two African kids, says it was Jared’s idea

Ivanka Trump, an inspiration and role model for all rich American wives, expressed her intent to adopt two African kids. In a fashion rally, She took to the dais, talking about her GoFundMe campaign to replenish clean water in each and every household in Somalia. She said, “ When I told this to Jared, he was over the moon, and expressed his intent on adopting two African kids right away!”. She got a standing ovation for her words but quickly had to empty the dais since the fashion show was already running late.

In a surprise move, ISIS offers to help rebuild Notre Dame, but with a catch.

ISIS, the cancer of our modern world, has taken a different step by offering to rebuild the Notre Dame Cathedral. They recently released a video set in an undisclosed location saying it would offer $100m for the repair and reconstruction, in return for modern arms and state-of-the-art ammunition from the French Government. French Prime Minister Emmanuel Macron said he needs some time to consider the deal.

Canada to ban tipping in bars, pubs, and restaurants

Canada may be the most celebrated country for its cannabis legalization, but according to reports, the government is deciding to ban tipping. This is being considered to make Canada the most tourist-friendly country in the world. College grads who make passive income as waiters and bartenders are furious and probably launching plans for a strike. Keep in touch with us to know how that ends.

27-year old woman bids farewell to her ex by preparing ‘cockroach’ sandwich

A dejected 27-year old Australian woman, prepared a cockroach sandwich for her ex, over allegedly dumping her for another girl. Police authorities have caught the girl and advised the distraught girl’s parents to seek mental help and counseling for the girl’s good. Meanwhile, the guy, who actually wanted to part ways decently, ate the whole sandwich without realizing it. He has been admitted to a local hospital after severe nausea and vomiting the following night. The guy later admitted that the girl was aware of his cockroach allergy and deliberately did this to seek revenge. It was only after that when the guy lodged an official complaint that the girl was nabbed by the police.